CI, CP, and other life changing acronyms

... it's allergies or a cold? How do you know if your geographic tongue is caused by a vitamin deficiency or your allergic reaction? How do you know if it's a migraine or a sinus headache? Ya, it's one of those days. About a week and a half ago, I had dinner with a friend and the next morning I woke up to a swollen throat and tingly tongue, very typical allergy type reaction for me. I imagined that there was some shellfish in the food we ate that I didn't know about. But, the reaction persisted. I started to retain water, and my hair has been falling out more than usual. I decided to look up a recent change in a prescription of mine and found these all to be side effects of this new medicine. I have yet to email my doctor because: (1) the water retention (and therefore dehydration) is subsiding (2) my throat swelling turned into geographic tongue and now into a full on sinus-y issue (3) I want to be doubly sure my hair is reacting as I think it is and not ju...

I have spent this Spring rediscovering my creative side. I have embarked more fully into bullet journaling, discovered the wonders of water colour, gotten ideas for my next time being in charge of Latin I, started keeping this journal, and dived back into (headlong) snail mail. It is a lot of work, but it is so calming and so rewarding. I am feeding many sides of my being: My acute sense of organisation - I live in a constant state of both chaos and utterly annoying organisation. I have laundry everywhere, but in my closet, each item has a specific way it is folded and placed. Shirts in the back on the second shelf, dresses from left to write, long sleeve to sleeveless. etc. I keep a meticulous bullet journal (bujo), but right now my study is in such chaos from the move that I cannot get to my desk. I am feeding this through my journaling and how I am organising my classroom. I am very excited to make some changes to the layout of my room next year that should help me address so...

I've had a lot of thoughts running through my head this week, any one of which could be a post. But, since I am slammed at work, in the middle of a move at home, and otherwise exhausted, and yet I want to remember these thoughts... what better place to write them down? So, here they are... 25 thoughts without commentary and in no particular order: Having a "me" day is okay.  One should never have to apologise for their feelings.  Perspective, while very important, doesn't always tell us the full story. Perspective can change the facts of a story.  Perspective can change.  Jamming out to one album for an entire week is perfectly fine.  I am human.  You are human.  Conversation cannot happen if one or more parties is unwilling.  snailmail is awesome.  postcards are awesome.  writing in a different language's script is a fun first activity in the morning.  I am not a huge  fan of the ukulele.   No one ...

It's time for more acronyms! Today has been a mixed day so far. I woke up and had hit a new low on the scale (Scale Victory) and fit into a new pair of work pants I'd bought (Non Scale Victory). Even then, I almost decided not to wear them. They are different than the things I normally wear - silky, vibrant in pattern, and a little more formal than I normally wear (usually thicker, more forgiving, less noticeable). I did not feel like I looked good in them - or - rather, I did not feel like others would think that I should be wearing them. As I've worn them thus far, I've gotten one compliment on them from a trusted person (so it kind of made my day that they noticed) and I feel more and more comfortable. Why shouldn't I wear comfortable, fun pants? Then... I walked into work. Upon my desk was a package. It was expected, but it was much bigger than anticipated. Suddenly it felt like all the paperwork landed on my desk (which it had - but again, expected). The fi...

This next month, in my bullet journal, I am going to keep a gratitude list (also called "A line a day" type) and a daily improvements journal. I may post about those later, but I am feeling the need to share some small gratitudes, especially after the few weeks/months I've had. Enjoy. afternoon thunderstorms a cool breeze a hot cup of coffee my large, labeled bottle of water my warm dogs my floofy cats my partner, who takes really good care of me, even when I don't realise I need it.  a good mystery novel my grey and white comforter which keeps me warm on the couch and is big enough to fit ALL my family under it. The Avengers (particularly Black Panther) my parents (for whom I have many BIG gratitudes) My mom's egg and sausage quiche... My mom's chicken pot pie... My mom's apple pie... My dad's coffee... my bullet journal.  my art journal. you know what... all my journals paper that marker won't bleed through on washi tape t...

I am learning how I practise self care. I had some opportunities this weekend, much to my surprise, to practise self care - which I did. As I explore the art world more, I am finding peace and calm in things that, as a child, caused me stress. I remember as a child that my art teacher did not like left handed children. She forced us to use metal scissors that gave us splinters (I was one of two left handed children in the entire school). I forced myself to learn how to use right handed scissors to avoid splinters. I can no longer cut well with my left hand. When she yelled at me for not being able to draw as well as the others, my father taught me to draw upside down. She did not like this, but I found a way to do it anyways. Afterwards, I gave up trying to paint and draw much at all. Recently, I've rediscovered it, along with mixed media artwork. I am really enjoying rediscovering things I used to like to draw and how to draw new things. I don't post them all the time, but I ...

This weekend we are taking a "trip". I say "trip" because it is a field trip with kiddos, to a 4H center. :) After my post the other day, I've spent a good time thinking. I reviewed my motivations (which I have decorated in my bullet journal, and which is the background on my phone), I watched an episode of a show I frequent when I'm feeling down, and I spent some time yesterday immersed in art. What I ultimately came to was this: Whether or not I am blaming myself and down on myself right now, I have to make a choice about this next day (and this weekend). I need to get ready and make choices that allow me to continue on my path. Today's smile message was about taking time to notice the messages I was being given. Yesterday, on my way home from work, a vulture swooped down in front of my car. He was close enough that I could see his eyes and make out the colours of his neck and head. Clearly a message. The vulture tells us to go through life mak...

Something that bothers me quite a bit (partly because it happens in so many situations) is when people accuse me of any number of things based on my age. I can think of a few situations in which it has happened recently: In a recent gathering of adults, the comment was made that medical problems occur due to age and that those who are under X age should appreciate the time they have. Then a joke was made about how awesome life is in your younger years.  In a somewhat recent social media post, the request was made to spark discussion of a favourite childhood musician. Upon sharing mine, I was informed that I was "too young" to have ever really listened to them or appreciated them. Very similar things often happen when speaking to someone in person if they feel I am "not allowed" to like or appreciate a particular aspect of popular culture.  In somewhat regular discussions I am reminded that I am one of the youngest teachers in a particular group. This can play ...

Today, I find myself reminding myself of this. For a few reasons. I am working on my drawing ability. There are some things I draw "well" but in a very particular cartoony way. I am working on more realistic drawings and widening my skill set. I am working with mixed media. I have spent a little time each day working with a variety of mixed media to work on my creative side. It is a lot of fun, but can be frustrating if I don't have the supplies I need. So, I am trying to work around it without spending a lot of money. My glasses broke, for the second time, in such a way that I can no longer glue them together. I have made an appointment with the eye doctor, but it will still take a week to get new glasses. In that time, I can still function mostly normally, but I am having trouble focusing my eyes, and reading. I am also plagued with a constant headache from the astigmatism. Patience is key here because sound sensitivity is a big thing for me when headaches are pres...

It's that time of year! You step outside and, provided you've taken your allergy meds, you take in the sweet sights and smells of new life. Today I stepped out into my garden to start the hard and rewarding work of cleaning up the Winter yard and setting up the Spring and Summer garden. My to do list is long and, with my feet, I can only get in about 30 minutes to an hour of work before I have to stop, but it is so worth it. I've gotten a lot of feedback over the years on my gardens and harvest and it amazes me how little people seem to know about maintaining your own garden in that: If you don't put in chemicals and insecticides... no one else will.  Which means... you can eat some food right off the vine/stalk. How much good composting actually  does.  And if you do it right, you don't need chemical help to grow a great garden. I love  gardening. I've loved it since I was a kid, so you can imagine when I did a tour of my house before buying it my sh...

Today I visited my neurologist (3rd of 4 in person doctors' visits in the past month). We've been working to get past this migraine cycle I've had for a while (a month or so). I'm super happy with my medications, so we aren't changing it, and the doctor doesn't want to increase the dosage as my blood pressure is fairly low (but still healthy). What we did decide to do was change the breakdown of the dosage (from 2x a day to 3), continue with B12 supplements, and take a closer look at what I am eating. I had already made some changes due to my podiatrist's recommendations: cut most/all gluten out cut most/all dairy out I had already changed how often I eat for myself as well. So, we went over the details. For the sake of this post, I'll post a typical day in my food world.  Breakfast - 1-2 eggs + 1-2 turkey sausage/bacon/sausage Morning snack  - fruit/seaweed/veggies and hummus Lunch - leftovers from the night before OR tuna fish Afternoon ...

Last night, I participated in a sleep study. For a long time, I've had issues with sleep that I considered normal and part of my sleep pattern. As of late, however, some things have gotten worse and I was referred to the sleep study. I won't receive the full results for a week or two, but right now the diagnosis is one of sleep apnea and I will be part of a program that has people use a machine at home that "forces" oxygen into their system to ensure proper sleep. For this post, however, I want to "debrief" the process that is a sleep study. When you first sign up for it, you receive an onslaught of paperwork and phone calls which, quite often, overlap with each other. You fill out insurance information and then, when they call, you give them this same information. You fill out surveys on your caffeine habits, sleep habits, and weird things you experience while sleeping. You also receive a plethora of information. Some of it will contradict itself: ...

So, I'm getting personal here. This is your "warning". I have long struggled with my sense of spiritual self. I have looked at this from just about every angle - spiritual, historical, literary, scientific, etc. and there is still little that I am *certain* of. But, there are a few things I know, for sure: Every living thing is aware. Every tree, every flower, every insect. Recent science proves it. Trees have been shown to move themselves and communicate with each other through their root systems. Dogs can have the intelligence of a seven year old child and wolf mothers mourn the loss of their pups. Elephants make friends for life and recognise each other even after years of abuse and separation. Cats understand us, they just don't care.  Energy is important . We all have energy. Our energy effects us and those around us. Energy can have a huge impact on thoughts, words, and actions. Intent falls into this.  There are messages everywhere . So, the last po...

... to bring you this real life day. We had a series of serious storms move through the night before last. All five (yes 5) of our animals were beside themselves. On the positive side, I got to see each of their personalities: Charlie is fairly stoic. He will come right up to you, nearly in your face to let you know that he is unsure, but once you comfort him and give him a warm spot, he won't budge again. Chibs is a crier... and a shaker... and a worrier. He lets his discomfort be known and can shake an entire bed with his shivers. Bao is also a crier. She will get mere centimeters from your face, put her paws near/on your head, and wake you up with the loudest meow she can muster. Then she will spend 20 minutes settling and finally fall asleep on your chest. Li is a fairly chill animal no matter what. She will notice each light and sound in the sky and then decide to busy herself with "cleaning" your hair. Lil Mane.... he is... a unique beast. With each crac...

Emotionally, yesterday was quite difficult for me. I won't go into details, but I spent my evening defending myself, my family, my job, and what is important to me. What was most upsetting to me was that I spent this time defending myself to people that I respected and trusted, mostly in vain. I was the bad guy. I was the bad guy for following the law and doing what I had not choice but to do. I was the bad guy for doing my job. It was incredibly frustrating. A dear friend of mine asked why I even engage trolls like these. Normally, I don't, or, if I do, it is quick and I don't take anything personally. But... this was personal. These weren't "trolls", but people that I knew personally, with whom I've spent a good deal of time (in most cases). These were people with whom I agree with 99% of the time. I went to bed last night nearly in tears. I was hurt and I didn't know how to respond. This morning, I looked at my Facebook and had another comment...

So, I fell off the water wagon, hard. And by the time I got up, the wagon was long gone - so to speak. I got so caught up in dealing with my migraine cycle (which included an increased caffeine intake), that I forgot about water a little. So much so, in fact, that I arrived at work today with a water bottle that is only half full. *facepalm* But, I'll get back at it. I invested in a single cup coffee maker for my classroom in the hopes that a second cup of coffee during my planning period will help with a soda craving after school. I did, in fact, bring my water bottle today, so I will fill it here and make sure I drink it all - twice. :) In other news, one of the things my doctor has recommended as we prepare to see if surgery is an option is a diet that includes a lot less gluten and dairy (but more on that later). I am about 3 weeks into this and am down 10 pounds. That is a lot, but with such a drastic diet change (I was brought up on knowing the goodness of milk and cheese...

Spring break is in 3 weeks. Last night I was asked a few questions about my medical conditions and upcoming appointments (by an appropriate source). Questions I thought it would be interesting to answer in writing to get a full visual. This will also help prepare anyone reading for my next medical history post. So... let's break it down: Pills taken Daily AM pills - somewhere between 1 and 4 depending on pain level and allergy cycle.  PM pills - somewhere between 4 and 6 depending on pain level and allergy cycle + a nasal spray that is medicated for allergies Throughout the day pills - an additional 4-12 depending on pain level.  Vitamins and Supplements - 4 -- two for a daily multivitamin that includes B12 (which I need), and a probiotic.  Pills currently taking for certain circumstances 6 today 5 tomorrow etc. etc. I am currently in the middle of a migraine cycle. A special pack has been ordered for me to break the cycle. It is much like an anti-bio...

Last night was International Night. I had students performing throughout the night. Students had been practising in my room for weeks for this night. I LOVE International Night. Last night, I didn't go. It was my every intention to go and I was really excited to see my kiddos perform. I ended up leaving work later than expected and didn't make it home until nearly 5:00 pm. My partner was going to go with me, but he didn't get home until 5:30. Dinner wasn't ready until 6:15.  The animals still needed to be fed and exercised. International Night started at 6:30 and I live 30 minutes away, without traffic. I seriously thought about going anyways and being late, but then I stood up and felt my left ankle start to give. I had worn my braces all day, as I am supposed to, but had taken them off at home. My ankle had swollen through the day (with some walking and standing) and the braces had left marks on my ankles and feet. Getting to the performances just wasn't going...

Last week, I spent three days at a conference for TPRS (teaching proficiency through reading and story telling/asking). I was a student of Mandarin for that time. The drive was lengthy, but class didn't start until 9:00, so I was able to get up at a comfortable time, make breakfast, be with the dogs and cats, etc. I enjoyed it so much, that I've decided, as best I am able, to try and duplicate that time during the school week. What this means is waking up between 4 and 4:30 to leave by 5:45 to get to school by 6:15. In terms of what I'm doing... I wake up, take my hair down, and check on the cats. If the dogs aren't up, I go ahead and get dressed. If they are, I let them out and make breakfast. Then, I take breakfast back to bed and enjoy it in quiet with the dogs, usually reading articles or catching up on a podcast. Then, I finish getting ready (do my hair, wash my face, etc) and leave the dogs to rest while I spend a little time with the cats and finishing some...

When I couldn't afford the MRI, I switched insurances. The MRI cost went from $600 to $45. The potential cost for surgery went from ~$4,000-10,000 to $250. I filled out the paperwork to have my files sent over to the new doctor and made an appointment as soon as I could. To say that I was disappointed with my new doctor would be an understatement. The roller coaster ride I went on was nothing short of disheartening and, sometimes, very depressing: The First Visit The first visit went very well. I felt heard by her. I felt like I was going to make progress. I told her everything I'd been through: the pain medication, the chiropractic therapy, the x-rays, the physical therapy (2 months), the potential for surgery, the pain, everything. I thought she really listened. I walked away from that meeting with: a new pain medication, and a "prescription" for bracing for both feet. The bracing was over the counter, but was of a certain kind to allow for more serious sup...